
I like keeping a list.
You know, a nice
long checklist of all I
need to do. And of all I
want to do.
I get
great joy and satisfaction from coming along and checking off an item when I have completed it. So much so that I would even go as far to say that I'm addicted to it.
When my heart begins to race and I actually get a slight "high" from seeing the task go from...
#12 - make the bed
to
#12 - make the bed
...I know, I have issues.
Okay, so you've all known that for a while! So have I, really. But this year...this year of 2009...God has been showing me ever so slowly, but ever so much, how I view my Christian walk as just another checklist.
I make my list...
#1 - Pray more often.
#2 - Be a better wife.
#3 - Don't get angry so quickly.
#4 - Be more loving.
#5 - Be more kind.
#6 - Be more faithful.
#7 - Work on self-control.
...you get the point. Then I try my hardest to cross off the tasks on my list. It kind of goes like this:
I wake up and have my quiet time with God. I read a passage and am impacted by what God's Word says about being kind. So I think about it all day, and actually am more kind toward others, and then at the end of the day I go to my list and cross it off... #5 Be more kind.
The problem comes the next day when I find myself being not-so-kind. Okay, I'll say it as it is...when I find myself being mean and selfish. I think to myself, "Wait a minute! I worked on this yesterday! I crossed this off. What is my problem?"
The problem is that being a Christian is NOT a checklist. Let me repeat.
Being a Christian is NOT a checklist and NOT about keeping a checklist.
It is in fact about having a relationship with your Creator, Savior, and Almighty God.
Just like I don't keep a checklist for my relationship with Justin -
#1 - Wake up, roll over, & kiss him
#2 - Make him breakfast
#3 - Help him pick out his clothes
#4 - Pack his lunch
#5 - Smile & hug him as he walks out the door
...I can't keep a checklist for my relationship with God. (Okay...so maybe, just maybe, sometimes I do keep a checklist like this! I'm working on it, okay?!)
I am learning. Yes, "learning" in present tense that each thing I want to grow in is a process that will take my lifetime. I will never cross off anything on my list because I'm only a sinner. I will always struggle with sin. But the good news is that I will grow. And my list...well I won't throw it away because it reminds me of the sinner I am and the Savior that I so desperately need. Instead of crossing off items I will settle for re-arranging items as I grow in some areas and need more work in other places.
I hope - I PRAY! - that you, too, will set aside your checklist and join me on the journey, the moment by moment walk of building a relationship...not a checked-off-list.
So anyone ready to sign-up?!
Leave me a comment if you, too, struggle with the checklist vs. relationship.
Oh, and I will leave YOU with this verse:
"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord the Spirit." - 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NASB)